We’ve recently celebrated Imbolc – the time between the Winter Solstice and the coming Spring Equinox.
A time which lets us know that there are lighter days ahead, and a reminder that winter is passing. Imbolc brings with it the very early signs of Spring – the awakening of Earth after winter.
As I reflect on Imbolc, I become deeply aware of how it relates to the childless grief journey. The path of one who is childless not by choice. The harshness of winter, and the realisation that a life without children will be lived.
A life which we never imagined, which we cannot imagine. But a life which we now go into. I remember those first days of the acknowledgement, as a numbness. Not really knowing what was going to happen, and how I would proceed – how I would survive.
The harshness of winter…
Once we acknowledge that yes, we will be childless not by choice, childless by circumstance – the healing can start. We can start seeking the support we need; the harshness of winter can ease. It takes time, but like Imbolc, and the knowledge that Spring is on its way, there is a similar reflection for the childless grief journey.
We know that the pain will lessen one day; we know that we will feel Spring again. Maybe it will be a glimpse, or maybe it will linger for longer – but, just as the spring season comes upon us, we acknowledge that the spring season of our childless grief will appear.
We recognise this, as we have seen those who have walked this path already, those who are longer into their healing. We see them thrive and move forward.
In our meditation classes, we have women at all stages of their childless journey.
This is a comfort…
For those who are just at the start of recognising how their life will unfold, this can be a comfort. Seeing people move on; seeing people in their new-found understanding of self; realising that there are so many of us in this situation; the beauty of how we help each other live, survive, and thrive.
A while back during a Write to Heal workshop, I wrote this poem, which I later shared during World Childless Week 2022:
The ‘why me’ is leaving – written during a Write to Heal in August 2022
As I move forwards,
The ‘why me’ is leaving…
It can be anyone.
Childlessness can affect anyone.
We have gorgeous, beautiful people here – so why not me?
And why not them?
And when we come together – we are wonderful
and we are thoughtful and we are kind
and we are compassionate and understanding.
We are US…
And us can be anyone – it really can.
…these words ring so true – we really are fabulous.
At this Imbolc, as we look back and reflect on the Winter Solstice and what that brought, I hope that you can also see the Spring hope which is to come.
See you in a meditation class, designed especially for you – childless not by choice fabulous women.
Much love, Bx
