‘Make friends with your mind’ is a concept which I gained from the Bhagavad-Gita, a text I started learning during my Ayurveda studies. Making friends with your mind, means knowing the mind, being aware of yourself when you can see that things are turning adverse. What is making the mind turn to anxiety, and using your tools before it gets too difficult. This philosophy has been something which I have turned to during the years since my studies, and also something which is easily forgotten in the moment. We are all human, and reading these spiritual texts from Earth. 

The Bhagavad-Gita came into my mind today while listening to a podcast. The author, Elizabeth Gilbert, mentioned this quote from the Gita on Marie Forleo’s podcast: ‘It is better to live your own life imperfectly, than to live a perfect imitation of somebody else’s life.’ A beautiful reminder that we must follow our own talents, and live our own life. 

As I write this, it is a day before the festival of Diwali, a festival I want so much to be a part of, to celebrate, to know that I am in a place of belonging. But as with so many things in my life, this is more of a wish than the reality. Diwali was never a festival which my immediate family celebrated. It was a time in the UK where Eastern religions were less visible than they are now. My family religion is Jainism, and Diwali is celebrated by Jains – as it is by Hindus, and Sikhs. But in the 1970s and 1980s the celebrations were less visible, in fact almost hidden. 

Now, in 2024, Diwali celebrations are more noticeable, with the former Prime Minister, Rishi Sunak, lighting diyas on the steps of Downing Street last year. It was a sight to behold in our complex, layered colonial history. 

My childlessness journey brought out a part of me, which I never realised it would. A recognition and embracing of my heritage and identity. I’ll never know if I would have embraced it in my parallel world of being a parent. Maybe I would have, or maybe not. But this year, I have been exploring my identity a lot, and there have been some deep insights. Memories have come up, and been written about; deep healing has happened, and my favourite part in all of this has been through World Childless Week. 

The founder of World Childless Week (WCW) Stephanie Phillips, announced in June that one day of the days for this year, was going to be Childless People of Colour. I can still remember my joy when I saw that, and my voice message to her. It was my push to do what I knew was needed. What I had been wanting to do for a while. I was ready. I could feel that this was my year to speak up more, to share more of my complex journey, to share more of myself.

Loves, I am loving it. I love showing up and being my deeper self. 

 During the Childless People of Colour day I opened up to so much of my journey, mentioning things in the morning webinar on Writing our Stories of Colour, I hadn’t planned. My poetry around domestic abuse. Stories of not being heard, stories where my writing might have been silenced. Moving myself into a future where I am more ME – where I can speak up for me, and for others like me. And I do. And it feels wonderful.

An offering which has come out of this year of identity, is a healing space for women of colour. A space to meditate and connect with others who understand even more of your journey – a women of colour, who is childless not by choice. I’ve had one session which was so beautiful, and heart-warming. I loved it, they loved it. There is more to come for this healing space. 

Back to Diwali, a theme I have actually been living this whole year. Diwali is the festival of lights. It is the triumph of light over darkness, of knowledge over ignorance. I can see the way that I have been shining a light this year, has been one of Diwali. Living the festival over months, shining my light over months.

Shining to overcome the darkness which has been created during the years of colonial history, and the dimming of my light. It is not lost on me that one of my programs is called Your Luminous Self. 

This Diwali I am embracing myself, I am lighting a candle for myself and the light within me. I am lighting a candle for the darkness which is starting to be dispelled. I look forward to the more possibilities of lightness in the future.